


things that go bump

by basicallyiwriteshit



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: ? - Freeform, AU, Babysitting, Fluff, Ghosts, M/M, Meet-Cute, TAZ Balance, angus is barry and lup's kid, blupjeans adopts angus, taakitz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21883510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicallyiwriteshit/pseuds/basicallyiwriteshit
Summary: “Hi I know it’s one in the morning and you just answered the door to see me propping open your neighbors door with my foot from across the hall and holding a baby monitor but I’m almost 100% sure these people’s apartment is haunted and I’m babysitting and I just heard a sound please check it out with me please I’m scared” AUa.k.a I'm legally required to only write fluff for taakitz
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 147





	things that go bump

“Now you’re quite sure you’ll be alright? Angus should fall asleep before you even tell him it’s bedtime, but if you need to, he’s always eager for a bedtime story.” 

“We’re reading him chapter books now, but usually he’s out like a light after the first couple of pages if he’s got his sippy cup with him--” 

“Lup's reading him those Caleb Cleveland novels-- I keep trying to tell her they’re too scary for a four year old, but he loves them--” 

“Don’t put anything but water in that thing before bed, though, we don’t want him getting cavities or something--” 

“But remember to only put wa-- Oh, thank you, Lup,” Barry and Lup’s voices overlap as they pull on coats and go over rules with Taako who is already on the couch, head on the arm rest. He yawns, only half pretending to be bored of them as he casts levitate on his nephew, who giggles happily. Lup thwaps Taako on the side of the head as Barry gently grabs the four-year-old and sets him on Taako’s chest, dispelling the magic making him float. “No casting spells on Angus unless it’s necessary, please. We’re trying to teach him not to misuse it.” 

“It’s not called misusing it, I’m simply _practicing_ , _Barold_.” Taako sticks his tongue out at Barry, and Lup sticks her own tongue out to defend her husband. 

“We’ll be back around twelve thirty, one-ish, but no promises. I’m really excited to rub how successful I am in Greg Grimaldis’ fuckin’ --sorry Angus-- face.” 

“While you’re babysitting, I’ll be Lup sitting, essentially.” Barry confirms, smiling fondly at Lup, and Taako’s nose wrinkles as they kiss. Angus seems to also not like the sight, because he covers his face with the book he’s reading-- a second-grade level book, despite the fact that he’s only in preschool. “Numbers are on the counter, and Angus already had dinner but you can have whatever, and maybe give him a--” Barry switches to speaking elvish as he says the next word before switching back to common, “snack. Before bed.” 

“ _Ooh_ , I know you were trying to do that parent thing where we keep secrets from the child, but he knows elvish from the orphanage.” Lup says quietly, and Barry looks at her incredulously. 

“Wh-- How-- How in the world--?” 

Lup waves her hand dismissively. “Oh, we were at fantasy McDonalds after preschool, and he heard some busy-bodies gossiping in the next booth over in elvish. I was rather surprised when he asked what a --might I say-- rather creative cuss word meant.” 

“ _Lup_!” 

“I didn’t tell him what it _meant_!” 

“But you also didn’t tell _me_ he knew elvish! I feel I should know that!” 

“Whoops?..” 

Taako rolls his eyes, casts prestidigitation to gust Lup’s hat off of her head. “Ugh, okay, can you have this lover’s quarrel in the car? You’re boring me.” 

“Right, we’re running late,” Barry says, checking his watch. He grunts as he kneels down, and Angus hops from Taako’s chest and runs towards Barry, hugging him in such a way that only a four-year-old with little concept of object permanence can when his parents leave. Once he’s hugged Barry, a levitation spell wraps around Angus again and he’s lifted into Lup’s arms. Taako flips her off, and Lup just does the same back to him, though hidden from Angus’ view. 

“No using magic on Angus my a--” 

“That’s right~” Lup gives him a grin that tells him to maybe not cuss, and his mouth shuts with a snap as the levitation spell is once again dispelled and Angus is dropped onto Taako’s chest again. Taako coughs as his breath loses him at the impact and he lifts Angus off of his chest, moving him to his lap as he sits up. Lup and Barry move to the front door and slip on their shoes, and with one final _“goodbye, we love you two!”_ they’re gone for the night. 

Taako looks down at Angus, who looks up at him with wide eyes behind the thick rimmed lenses of his glasses, and it occurs to him suddenly this is his first time truly _alone_ with the kid since he’d been adopted almost a year ago now. Usually, if Lup and Barry weren’t there, Magnus and Merle would be there to babysit with him but both of those idiots are busy and so it’s just him and Angus tonight. While Taako isn’t a big fan of children, Angus is...different. Angus is Lup and Barry’s kid, adopted or not, and he’s already so _bright_. Taako knows that Angus is going to end up super powerful like his parents, but that’s not what Taako likes about the kid. 

Angus is so emotionally developed for his age, and perhaps it’s the trauma of his first three years, but Taako can at least relate to that. Taako sees a lot of himself in this ever-curious mind, and wants to make sure he’s raised well. Which is why he’d never _ever_ let Lup and Barry hire some _rando_ to babysit the kid. 

Still, it’s kind of awkward. What do you do with kids? Usually Magnus handles the kid until bedtime, engaging him and Merle in a game of keepaway or just plain pretend. But Taako doesn’t _do_ pretend and keepaway only works with three people minimum, so what does he _do_? Looking at the clock, he sees Angus’ bedtime is still an hour and a half away. 

“Uncle Taako, you wanna help me with my puzzle?” Angus points to the half-finished puzzle on the coffee table that he’d been working on before Taako showed up. Taako hums and sits up, gently lowering himself onto the ground with Angus still in his lap. 

“What’s the scene, kid? What’re-- What’re we painting?” 

“We’re not painting, uncle Taako!” Angus giggles. “It’s a puzzle!” 

“It’s a metaphor, pumpkin.” Taako says, patting his head. Angus’ nose wrinkles, and he fixes his hair. 

“You’re silly.” 

Taako helps Angus finish the puzzle, gives him a snack, and then fills his bedtime sippy cup with water while Angus goes about getting ready for bed. By time Taako finally wanders down the hall to Angus’ bedroom, the kid is already curled up half asleep in his bed. Taako smiles, sets the cup down on the bedside table and fixes up his blankets, and then sits himself in the rocking chair nearby and picks up the book on the top of the stack next to the cup on the bedside table. 

“Caleb Cleveland, huh? Didn’t your papa say those are too scary for you?” 

“Mama likes to read them to me,” Angus says with a grin, showing off a missing front tooth. Taako smiles back, taking Angus’ glasses from his face and setting them down. 

“Rebel, just like your mama. I like it.” 

Taako cracks the book open, leans back, and begins to read the page where the bookmark left off. Just as promised, Angus falls asleep easily, sippy cup pulled close to his chest, and Taako is left to essentially just do nothing for the next three, four hours. With a sigh, Taako stands and quietly puts the book away, flicking on the night-light as he exits the room, and then he’s on the couch again, phone in hand and scrolling through it. He almost forgets that he’s babysitting until a light cough startles him and his eyes fly to the video baby monitor Lup and Barry insist on keeping. He relaxes as Angus settles back down. 

There’s nothing fun on tv, and his phone is getting boring, and so instead Taako decides to make himself a late dinner. He’d had his own before coming to babysit, but Lup will probably have the munchies when she arrives home from the party, and both her and Barry will probably want to lay low tomorrow, so a chili should be good. Something to warm everyone’s bones in this cold weather. 

Taako sets about making a quick large-batch chili recipe their aunt taught them, and even some cornbread once he sees they have the ingredients, and he once again forgets about the baby monitor until he’s sitting back at the couch with a bowl and something catches his eye. 

“Well, that’s definitely not normal.” 

The book that Taako had read Angus is floating in the air, just above where he’d set it down after he’d finished. Angus remains asleep, though he tosses and turns occasionally, unperturbed by the book. When Taako casts detect magic, yep there’s a levitation spell on the book, but he’s the only one in the apartment who could have cast it and that’s spooky as hell. Taako hops up and moves down the hall, going into Angus’ room and carefully setting the book down firmly on the bedside table. When he returns to the couch and begins to eat his food again, his eyes wander back to the monitor and he groans. 

“Oh, _come on._ ” Taako drops his spoon back in his bowl and stands, glaring at the monitor. This time, the book is levitating but so are Angus’ glasses, the child still fast asleep in his bed. “Jesus, this could get annoying.” 

As he moves to go set both of those things back down, there’s a loud _slam!_ and the door to Angus’ bedroom closes firmly. Taako flinches, and Angus stirs a bit but remains asleep. Taako quickly rushes down the hall and throws the door open, relieved to see his nephew is safe. Just to be careful he tiptoes inside the bedroom and checks the closet, under the bed, behind the door, and finds nothing. He repeats with Lup and Barry’s bedroom, their office, and the various linen closets and bathroom. Nothing. When Taako passes the door to Angus’ room on his way back to the living room a chill falls over him and he shivers, shaking his head. 

This is absolutely not happening. No way, no how! This is _not_ how Taako dies. He’s just gonna ignore it, and not get caught up in ghost shit. As long as it’s not hurting Angus, he and this ghost can coexist. 

The timer goes off for his cornbread, and he curses-- he’d forgotten about that. After taking them out of the oven, Taako shuts the oven off and sits back down to finish his bowl of chili. Scrolls on his phone, messages a plain non-ghost-related update to Lup and Barry, and he’s actually able to doze off a bit. 

He stays in a half-sleep state for about half an hour before a loud noise startles him awake. His eyes fly to the monitor, sees nothing. Angus coughs and sits up, rubbing at his eyes. Taako sits stiff as a board as Angus grabs his sippy cup, takes a big gulp, and falls back asleep in a matter of ten seconds. No muss no fuss, no tears no fear. Good. 

Okay. Angus is fine. Angus is alive. This is fine. 

A text from Barry lets Taako know that they ran into some friends and might be later than they planned, and _“I’m so sorry, we’ll pay you extra, promise”_ just as _yet another_ book begins to float in front of the monitor. 

Taako thinks he might cry. 

-

Kravitz is used to odd noises in the night; he’s lived with cats all his life, flesh and skeletal cats alike, and those things tend to go crazy during night time. However, what he is not used to is his front door getting knocked on at-- is it-- _is it one in the morning?..What?.._

Getting out of bed and rubbing at his eyes sleepily, Kravitz makes his way to the front door and peeks through the peep hole. An elven man who looks suspiciously like his neighbor across the hall stands half in the hallway, half in the doorway to his neighbor’s apartment, looking positively _stressed_. He frowns and --despite his better judgement, probably-- he opens the door. 

“Hello?..” 

“Hey, pal, uh-- this is gonna sound so stupid,” The stranger says, “But I’m uh-- I’m babysitting my nephew, and I’m like fully convinced this place is fucking haunted. Can you _please_ come make sure I’m not going crazy?” 

...And that’s such an odd request that Kravitz isn’t entirely sure he’s not actually dreaming right now. 

“I- I’m sorry, what?” 

“I’m your neighbor Lup’s brother, Taako, y’know-- from tv? And I’m babysitting their kid. And I think there’s a ghost in the house. Look,” The stranger -- Taako -- lifts a video baby monitor, and Kravitz’ eyes take a moment to adjust but when they do he finds a plain children’s bedroom, and a handful of small items floating about the room. 

“...Well, that does seem concerning. What-- There’s no one else in the house?..” 

“No, and my foot is cramping holding this door open. Are you gonna come take a look for me or not because I’m getting really freaked out and don’t need Lup thinking I’m a coward.” 

This guy seems genuinely spooked as one of the items drops to the floor and makes a loud noise that Kravitz doesn’t need the baby monitor to hear with both doors open. Kravitz nods quickly, seeing his panic and wanting to help this poor stranger. 

“Yeah, uh-- let me-- let me put on some shoes, and a-- a shirt...” 

“I mean, the shirt doesn’t have to go on but whatever floats your boat, Kemosabe.” Taako says flirtatiously and Kravitz feels his cheeks flush, thinking to himself that this isn’t exactly the time to be flirting really but whatever. He shakes his head, ducking into his apartment to slip on a hoodie he keeps near his front door and his shoes, before stepping into the hall. Taako steps back inside apartment 312 and opens the door, letting Kravitz inside. Kravitz thanks him quietly and Taako leads him deeper into the apartment. “I have no idea what’s making these things float. Nothing’s woken Angus up, and nothing’s hurting him, but it’s still _creepy as shit._ ” 

“Right. And you’ve cast detect magic to know for sure?” Kravitz asks, looking at the baby monitor. There are less things floating, now, although there’s still quite a number of objects still in the air. It’s honestly quite impressive, that whatever is casting this spell is keeping upwards of five things all floating around at once. 

“Of course I did, it’s the first thing I tried. Nothing necromantic, which is what I thought at first what with Barry and Lup’s profession and what they bring home from work, but seriously-- It's nothing! It’s gotta be a ghost, though, because I’m the only other one in the house with him!” 

“Hey, calm down now. This _is_ quite odd, and I’m not entirely sure what it is myself, but I’ll help you figure it out, if it would make you feel better..?” 

Taako runs a hand through his hair and nods, smiling in a way that has Kravitz’ heart racing. This elf is cute, but Kravitz doesn’t think much else of it; Taako is pretty distressed, and he doesn’t want to make a move on someone frightened. Kravitz offers a small smile in return and pats his shoulder. 

“Hey, look at it like this. At least your nephew isn’t being harmed? He seems mostly undisturbed, even with the loud noises.” 

“Right. He’s a pretty heavy sleeper, like his uncle, so I don’t expect much different really.” Taako says with a snort. “I’ll go grab a book or something from Lup’s office, let’s see if we can crack this case open before they get home. And, uh-- thanks. I appreciate it. I never got your name.” 

“It’s Kravitz." 

“Nice to meet you. I don’t-- maybe you’ll be able to figure out what the fuck’s goin’ on, because I’m losing it here.” 

Taako disappears down the hall and emerges a moment later with a large tome in arm, and Kravitz helps him set it down on the coffee table, standing awkwardly as Taako flops onto the couch before the elf pats the seat cushion next to him. 

“Don’t be a stranger, stranger! Sit down. We’ve got some reading to do.” 

“R- Right. Alright, let’s take a look at it then.” 

...And they get to work researching. On occasion, there’s a gust of wind or something drops to the ground, startling them, but they continue their research. Taako pretends that he isn’t scared by playfully flirting, but Kravitz can tell he’s actually terrified. Kravitz entertains him, however, and flirts back just a little bit. 

This isn’t exactly how he’d intended his night to go, he’ll admit, but it’s not entirely the worst, Kravitz can’t help but think as Taako once again tries to joke about whatever’s causing this stray magic. 

-

Three in the morning finds Lup and Barry stumbling into their apartment, giggling like schoolgirls, a drunken flush on their cheeks as they slip shoes off and come into the house. Barry, slightly less drunk than Lup, goes immediately to Angus’ room to check on him as Lup goes to the kitchen to get some water and puke buckets that they will _definitely_ need in the morning. She finds a big tupperware full of chili and a cupcake tin of cornbread wrapped up in the fridge and smiles, going into the living room to wake up and thank Taako, when she freezes. 

“Hey, babe?” 

“Yeah?” Barry comes into the room now after checking up on Angus. 

“We just left Taako here with Angus tonight, right?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Then why is our neighbor cuddling my brother on the couch?” 

Barry’s eyes blink over to Taako, and it takes him a moment to process the sight in front of him. Taako is on the couch, curled up around a pillow, and leaning against Taako's side is their neighbor whom they’ve only spoken to a handful of times, Kravitz. 

Right. That’s weird. 

“Do we let them sleep, or?..” 

Lup shrugs. “Eh, fuck it.” 

“Fuck it?” 

“Fuck it,” She shrugs, swaying on her feet a bit, and Barry moves to prop her up a bit. “We can pick on ‘im in the morning about it. Let’s go t’ bed.” 

Lup makes her way down the hall and Barry quickly rushes to pull a blanket over the two figures asleep on the couch before following Lup down the hall. 

-

When Kravitz blinks his eyes open, it takes him a minute to remember where he is. He’s on a couch, he can feel the familiar ache of when he falls asleep reading or something, but he simply assumes he’s on his own couch a moment until his sleepy eyes trail over an unfamiliar tome on an unfamiliar coffee table, and then a children’s puzzle underneath it. 

“Wha..?” 

When he sits up, a soft blanket falls off of his shoulders and into his lap. Something shifts under him and he realizes he’d been laying on a person-- it takes him a moment, but when he recognizes Taako, the handsome elf who requested his help with a ghost the night prior, his cheeks burn bright. He can’t believe he fell asleep. 

“Hey there, Kravitz.” 

Kravitz’ eyes widen and his head whips in the direction of the noise, hair flying in his face. He pushes it away from his eyes, finds his _actual_ neighbor, Lup, leaning her head on a dining room table cluttered with papers. When she lifts her head, a paper sticks to her forehead. She lets it fall to the ground and doesn't pick it up. 

“H- Hello...” 

“Sleep well?” 

“I...I believe so,” He murmurs awkwardly. “I apologize, this must be rather awkward.” 

“Only slightly.” Lup stands, brings him a mug, and he takes it thankfully. “Taako’ll be asleep for a while longer, so can you explain why you’re here?” 

“Ah, uh...” Kravitz uses his free hand to rub at the back of his neck, chuckling awkwardly. “Well, your brother knocked on my door in the middle of the night, said there was a-- a ghost..? In your son’s room...we spent all night looking for reasons why everything was floating in there...” 

Lup’s eyes narrow, and her gaze on him is firm despite how out of it she looked prior. “A ghost?” 

“Yeah, uh-- He sounded really scared, and he showed me the baby monitor and there was toys and stuff floating around the room, and the door kept slamming...” Kravitz says. “I- In hindsight, it sounds silly, but late at night it’s a lot scarier...” 

“Floating? Like...A levitation spell? And, like, the door slamming like a gust of wind from a prestidigitation, perhaps?” 

“I-- Uh-- Yeah?..I suppose..?” 

Lup takes a moment, leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen, before something clicks and she grins. 

“Oh, this is going to be so great. I’m-- Oh, this is hilarious. Thank you, for babysitting my little brother while he babysat our son, Kravitz.” 

“i-- No problem? Taako seemed really scared. If you don’t mind me asking-- uh-- What happened? That stray magic was really strange, actually, and I study arcane magics for a living.” 

“You really wanna know?” Lup asks, smirking, and Kravitz nods slowly. Lup pushes herself up from the wall and casually wanders back to the kitchen to pour herself another cup of coffee. Kravitz watches curiously. After a long gulp of her coffee, she finally opens her mouth again to speak, “Sleepcasting.” 

...Huh? “What?” 

“Angus is a sleep talker. Always has been.” Lup says, and it begins to kind of make sense to Kravitz. “We’ve been teaching him some cantrips, since he’s shown interest in magic, and he’s been casting in his sleep. Could've sworn we told Taako about it, but we must've forgotten.” 

“That’s...I’ve never heard of that, that’s amazing.” 

“You wanna know what really makes it funny, though?” Lup has a smirk on her face that, though Kravitz isn’t entirely sure how siblings work, he knows exactly what it means: She’s going to pick on her brother so hard for this. “Taako did the same thing when we were younger. He used to scare the hell out of me. So I guess it's payback, kinda.” 

Kravitz can’t help but laugh at that. He muffles a chuckle by taking a drink of his coffee. Finishes the cup and thanks Lup for her hospitality, apologizes once again for staying over --however unintentionally it was-- but he does have to go feed the cat. Just as Kravitz is sliding on his shoes, a small figure emerges from down the hall followed by Barry, who waves at him. 

“Hey there, Kravitz. Sorry for whatever Taako dragged you into last night, buddy.” 

“Oh, it’s no problem. Lup cleared it up a bit. Just don’t rag on him too much over it.” 

“Definitely not promising that!” Lup calls from the kitchen. She scoops the kid, Angus, up and her smile morphs from tired and hungover to genuine as Angus wraps his arms around her in a tight hug. “Have a great day, Kravitz! Thanks again for babysitting Taako!” 

“You guys have a good day as well.” Kravitz waves and ducks across the hall to his own apartment. His cat, Luna, meows angrily at him and he chuckles at her. She’s a bit confused as to why he’s coming in through the front door and not down the hall from his bedroom, but she settles down when she’s fed. 

Kravitz makes himself his own pot of coffee and some breakfast as he thinks about how wild the last seven hours have been for him. He can’t help but smile, though, thinking about Taako. Taako is...an extraordinary elf, and seems to know a lot about magic (last night’s events notwithstanding, considering Kravitz himself with all of his arcane knowledge hadn’t thought of _sleepcasting_ ). He’s genuinely someone Kravitz would like to get to know, although he doesn’t think he will once Taako realizes how silly he must look for bringing Kravitz over in the middle of the night. 

A bit solemnly, Kravitz settles onto the couch and pulls up fantasy Netflix on the tv before settling down with some work to busy himself on this lazy Saturday. 

His mind drifts back to Taako the first hour or so, but eventually he falls into his usual rhythm. Doing his work actually cheers him up a bit, and he gets so wrapped up in it he loses time for a few hours, and only when there’s a knock on his door does he look up at the clock and see it’s nearing one in the afternoon now. Standing, he goes to the door and peeks out of the peep hole, surprised to see none other than Taako. He opens the door. 

“Hello there, Taako. What a surprise.” 

“Yes, it’s uh-- a surprise to me, honestly. I was _not_ planning this when I left Lup’s, but I absolutely _cannot_ deal with the fact that I ruined your night and also embarrassed myself quite thoroughly in the process, and uh...yeah.” 

“Oh, you didn’t-- You didn’t ruin my night! You may have embarrassed yourself a little bit, but that’s quite alright.” Kravitz smiles. “I actually didn’t mind reading through those books and stuff with you.” 

Taako snorts out a laugh. “Oh boy, you’re a real-- man, you’re one of those nerds, aren’t you?” 

Kravitz should probably feel a bit offended, but he just chuckles along with him. 

“I suppose so. I’ve dedicated my life to learning the arcane and necromantic arts, and I’ve never read those particular tomes so reading--” 

“Yaaawn, okay I’m gonna need you to not give me your life story right now.” Taako says, and Kravitz’ heart drops. Taako looks at his nails boredly as he speaks again, “...You can give it to me at dinner. So I can properly get to know yourself and not embarrass myself.” 

“Wait-- Wait, really?” 

“Well, yeah, uh-- I don’t joke about that kinda stuff.” Taako says, shoulders a bit stiff-- he looks like he doesn’t know exactly how to do this...asking out thing. Like he’s used to being asked out and not doing the asking. “So, whatta you say, Kemosabe? Can I get your number and take you out to dinner, or have I completely embarrassed myself twice in the last twelve hours?” 

Kravitz smiles softly and pulls his phone from his pocket. “Well, you’ve seen me in my pajamas twice already, so I suppose it’s fine. No ghosts this time, right?” 

“Right. Asshole.” Taako’s cheeks burn bright as he crosses his arms across his chest. Kravitz raises an eyebrow with a smirk and hands over his phone. Taako takes it with a grumble and types in his number before handing it back. “I’ve gotta go, I have edits to go through before Sunday night, but uh-- text me.” 

“I definitely will.” 


End file.
